Well, this last month has been very busy and good. I have been working, hanging with the family, winning a $1000 from my company and was GIVEN tickets to a concert. It is amazing. Just that simple. AMAZING!!
In this last month I also had a light bulb go off. I am not fat anymore. I am actually a skinny type of chick. I do have some lumps and curves and rolls from losing so much weight and having 5 kiddos. And I am beginning to love the some of those lumps and curves. It is not such a bad thing. After almost four years post surgery I am beginning to really like myself.
This is the picture that turned that light buld on.
That is me in the middle, my daughter on the left and my yoga instructor/friend on the right. I am the oldest in this pic and look pretty good for almost 43.
Looking in the mirror is not easy yet and I still have a mental imagine at times of a person who is 100 pounds larger than what I am. It is a circle thought process for me. I know that when I go shopping not to head to the plus size and I can get either a small or medium in pants and shirts but it doesn't always click when I looking in the mirror.
It isn't as bad as it once was. I can look more often in the mirror and know that I a beautiful, intelligent, amazing and gifted woman. Then, something will happen or I will have a bad day and my mind flips the negative switch. That switch turns on the voices and lighted mirror in my head that says I am worthless, fat and unloved.
I call crap on that one more and more often. I am able to call crap on it more often due to lots of growing and trusting myself. Yes, trusting myself. I haven't really trusted myself for a very long time. It is weird to say that but it is true. I love trusting myself.
I trust myself for so many things. What to make for dinner, how to run my business, how to raise my kiddos, how to love my husband, how to be a friend, daughter and sister.
As I am trusting myself, I am rebuilding boundaries, relationships and love for what I do. How freaking amazing is that? I think is the most wonderful in the world. Trusting in yourself is the first step to succeeding in whatever you want to do.
What do you need to trust yourself in to succeed?
